Tuesday, September 19

PC Jewish New Year greetings to Muslim World

(Yes, yes, I know this has been around the "that's funny"/"stop sending me this crap" email list umpty-leven times, but I like it, ok? Deal with it. Send it to your Muslim friends for Ramadan next month - just don't come whining to me about the death threat replies...)

Shanah Tovah

From me ("the Wishor") to you (hereinafter called "the Wishee").

Please accept without obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, politically correct, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the Jewish New Year (herein referred to as "Rosh Hashanah" holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious or secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all, and a financially successful, personally fulfilling, work/life balanced and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 5767-2006/7, but with due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures or sects, and having regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform or dietary preference of the Wishee.

By accepting this greeting you are bound by these terms that:

- This greeting is subject to further clarification or withdrawal.

- This greeting is freely transferable provided that no alteration shall be made to the original greeting and that the proprietary rights of the Wishor are acknowledged.

- This greeting implies no promise by the Wishor to actually implement any of the wishes.

- This greeting may not be enforceable in certain jurisdictions and/or the restrictions herein may not be binding upon certain Wishees in certain jurisdictions and is revocable at the sole discretion of the Wishor.

- This greeting is warranted to perform as reasonably may be expected within the usual application of good tidings, for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first.

- The Wishor warrants this greeting only for the limited replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the Wishor.

- Any references in this greeting to "Y-K-...V-K", the Lord", "Hashem" "Our Father", "Avinu Malkeinu", or any other festive figures, whether actual or fictitious, dead or alive, shall not imply any endorsement by or from them in respect of this greeting, and all proprietary rights in any referenced third party names and images are hereby acknowledged.
And speaking of Harvey the rabbit, and the rabbi above, remember the following if you plan on attending "Congregation Sha'are Shaina led by Rav Baryiach" - aka - sleeping in for Rosh Hashana morning services:

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